Father Christmas no public health pariah, says FIH

According to public health specialist Dr Nathan Grills, Father Christmas should swap his sleigh for a bike. And give up those mince pies and glasses of sherry too.

In a paper published in this week's British Medical Journal, Dr Grills, from Monash University, Australia, argues that Santa Claus promotes obesity, drink driving, speeding and is altogether a public health risk.

We know the real story behind Dr Grills' condemnation of all that's fun about Christmas. This is it.

'Twas the night before Christmas
When by magical laws
Our children lie sleeping
And dream Santa Claus.
When all of a sudden
With a bang and a clatter
Those wonderful dreams
Were all of a shatter.
Nathan (Scrooge) Grills
Had trapped the poor chap
The one with the beard
And the very large lap.
The children all scream
They cry and they shout
'Give us back Father Christmas
You horrible lout.'
So Nathan relented
And set Santa free
The children all cheered
And chuckled with glee..
'Cos Christmas is special
The rules don't apply
On that magical day
Nothing can go awry.

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